Attack of the Giant Meatballs

I was at a restaurant where the menu says you can order "a meatball as big as your head." Now, I gotta be honest, a meatball as big as my head is a pretty scary visual, even though I don't think I have an especially big head. I mean...that's a lot of meatball.

I was pretty sure the meatball was no where near as big as my head, but they didn't provide any qualifying statements to reassure me. Not like at that diner I went to where they advertised their Giant Cookie with a 2-foot painting of a chocolate chip cookie, and plastered "not actual size" across it.

With cookies, you don't want people to get their hopes up. With meatballs, though, it's okay to scare them a bit.

While I tried to imagine how big they justified making the meatball to support the head claim (would they say it was the size of my head if it was shrunken in preparation for tribal ritual? Or, maybe, if measured from across the room?) I was reminded of the Apple lawsuit from last year.

In that case, a man in San Diego sued Apple for false advertising on the iPhone 3G. Apple had said that the 3G was "twice as fast for half the price" as compared to the original iPhone. Apparently, the plaintiff had proof that was not so.

So, if he had proof, then what was Apple's defense? Why, they claimed: "Plaintiff's claims, and those of the purported class, are barred by the fact that the alleged deceptive statements were such that no reasonable person in Plaintiff's position could have reasonably relied on or misunderstood Apple's statements as claims of fact."

Which means, everyone knows you're an idiot if you believe what an advertiser says. So the meatball could safely be a half an inch across and it would be my fault for expecting the server's knees to buckle under the weight of the plate.

Hmm. I think they should just go ahead and advertise meatballs as big as the state of California. It all means whatever they want it to in the end!

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